New Year's Resolutions

Welp, it's December 28...that means it's time to think about resolutions. I don't think I even tried to resolve last year. If I did it was the same thing I resolve every year: lose weight, get a boyfriend, blah blah blah. Here are my new ones:

Love my body no matter what my size is or what it says on the scale
-This is a constant struggle. But I think it's possible for me to achieve this. My goal is to have enough confidence to wear a bikini on the beach when I go in July. I've decided that while a flat stomach and toned everything would be nice, it's not the end all be all to look nice on the beach. So there.

Respect myself and treat said body as a temple:
-Also difficult. But it's high time I give myself the respect I want from other people. There's no reason to be beating myself up all the time...it's not like someone tells me every day how shitty I look. This also means putting effort forth in my appearance. In my opinion, if you look good (like, put some idea of makeup on and vote jeans instead of sweats all the time) you feel...better. Not good all the time, but ok. Hopefully by July I can strut down that beach. If I lose weight, awesome, if I don't, that's ok too. But I will also make a commitment to eating better. Since I have really low iron, I have to incorporate a lot more iron rich food in my diet, which will make me feel less fatigued.

Push myself artistically.
-This is my profession and my passion. And I really want to be the best I can be. So that means doing work outside of the work that I have to do. Also, tapping into my inspiration. Sometimes reading, singing, or just experiencing new things helps with that, but I want to be the best artist I can be. Also, I'm toying with the idea of painting murals in the summer for children's rooms and such. But that's just a pipe dream right now.

Save money.
-That one's sort of self explanatory. :)

When I was your age...

It seems like decades since I was in high school when you compare the behavior of me and my friends to the behavior of some girls now in very similar situations to mine. Girls that have EVERYTHING in front of them. They have talent, beauty, and opportunity and yet they still decide to make TERRIBLE decisions and broadcast it to the whole world no doubt.  I don't think they realize how many people want what they have. I want to show them what they're taking advantage of by doing this to themselves. Getting the rumor mill running, having it come back to (basically) your employer...behavior like this doesn't fly in the real world, ladies. In my personal opinion, they should have all of their privileges taken away and only given back after they show some fraction of work ethic and self respect. I'm so mad. There have been times when I was so proud of these girls for what they've accomplished, it's like I'm not even looking at the same people. What happened to self respect? I really don't understand.

What do you do when your moral compass starts acting up?

Last night I went to my friend's house to visit and catch up.  He's still in high school, but I'm well aware that he is pretty wild. And it doesn't bother me all that much because he's been like that since I met him when I was in 10th grade and he was in 7th. But when I got there, a girl that I have known since she was knee-high to a grasshopper is at his house also and talking about things that I never wanted to hear coming out of any high schooler's mouth.
See, the thing is, I was sort of an unconventional high school student.  I never had any desire to drink or make any other too destructive of decisions. I didn't want to piss off my parents because first of all, my mother is SCARY when she's mad and second because I never want to feel the burden of disappointment from them.  I enjoyed (and still do) the trust that I built up with them and did not want to ruin that.  So I was straight laced, responsible, and very irked by people that did not feel the same way.
Well, not a whole lot has changed since then.  While I have established more of a wild streak (haha, for me.  This includes having a glass of wine maybe once a month), and I don't judge as much for people's unhealthy choices...my moral compass still likes to go crazy from time to time.
This was one of those times.  I haven't felt that uncomfortable in a while.  I felt like everything was wrong.  I'm aware that high schoolers do things they're not supposed to do, I was no saint or anything, but I really have no desire to hear about it.  And it's not like I can (or would even want to) participate in said conversation.  It's WAY too risky being an aspiring teacher to talk about such things and even being present gave me flash forwards of never getting a job anywhere.
I wanted SO BAD to tell this girl that first of all: what you're doing is not worth it. You're throwing a lot away every time you smoke or get drunk or even talk about it.  You're making a terrible reputation for yourself and that's not a good way to leave the small little town you grew up in.  Second: who in God's name are you trying to impress? You think I don't hear this every Monday morning in my classes from hot mess college freshmen that no one wants to be friends with? You don't impress me one bit. I don't care how many times you've drank or when you puked and passed out.  All you're doing is making yourself look incredibly classless.
I wanted to say that, but I just sat there and felt very small. Most of the time my weekend consists of watching a movie with my roommates, studying, and sleeping in. And I really don't mind it that way.

I think I finally actually like my blog now...

After a long while I think I have everything sorted out to my Art OCD liking.
In other news...it's finally starting to sort of look like Christmas in these parts! I'm so excited. Snow soothes my soul. Christmas is my favorite time of year.  Whenever I'm having a bad anxiety day, my "happy thoughts" are at Christmastime with my whole family around me and everyone is safe and happy. Snow is softly falling outside and the tree is lit up and decorated.  This time of year makes me perfectly content. Maybe soon I will actually start following people and such...I feel as though I may get other things out of this. :) Another post will be coming rapid fire after this one. But I felt as though I needed to share things I love at the moment:

• Silk Very Vanilla Soy Milk
• Snow, snow, and more snow.
• My puppy laying under the Christmas tree
• My mom's vegetable pizza
• Christmas
• Love Actually

My first blog post ever!

I thought I'd start by elaborating a little bit. I didn't want my "About Me" section to go on for days. And I don't really know what to say just yet! So here goes nothing. I am a junior art education major at a very small college in northern Pennsylvania.  As of right now, I'm trying to juggle art classes (acrylic painting), regular classes (archaeology among others...kill me) and my assistant directorial debut in our production of "The Importance of Being Earnest." Not to mention the fact that I may have a bit of an anxiety problem (more on that at some other time) and constant drama and frustration (because, like I said, I'm a girl in college). One of my very good friends from home encouraged me to get this. Her name is Kate. She is lovely. I try really hard to see good in most situations, so hopefully there will not be too much ranting, but it may make its way in here. So yeah, more to report soon I imagine. My interests at the moment are Broadway (well...that's always), theatre in general, art, Glee, and True Blood. I also love to read when I can, which isn't very much.